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Feeling Taken Care of when the Earth is moving under your Feet? Breathe yourself in, be held in the breath.

the thinker variation Astavakrasana jennfer vafakos

the thinker variation Astavakrasana jennfer vafakosSometimes it’s hard right?  like really hard. Can you reach back to a place and time you really and truly felt taken care of. Where and when was it? For me it was everytime I went to visit my mother. Long after she was able to take care of me and I was a full grown adult to be with her was complete solace. So now she is no longer here…what now. I am still in the process of clearing out her home and ironically still feel her near me.  I know she is near, I feel it. But aside from that, how can I really learn to take care of myself emotionally…

My teacher (Dana Trixie Flynn) did a class on the Kumbhaka (breath retention)  which was a super powerful experience for me…everytime I went to retain my breath I got dizzy, anxious and felt as if I was going to pass out…perhaps  it is because I have been breathing a lot more shallow lately?  To expand my breath during this class felt disorienting. It was a distinct reminder of a Mary Oliver’s line “are you breathing a little and calling it a life”  Breathe deeper my friends, lean into the uncomfortable places thats where the opening happens.

Using kumbhaka feeling the flying up sensation, the lift, the release, the sometimes grasp.  Has helped me to fall a little more into the meditation of the movement of asana. in that meditative quality of the asana I can move and truly feel calm truly feel held. I am in control and present. Something to tangibly feel possibilities when life feels challenging.

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